Posts Tagged ‘marriage’

They DO Exist!!!

PatienceDear Single & Celibate ladies waiting on their Godly man,

My work colleagues and I rarely eat together, but we did a few weeks ago and something really small but very profound happened that I want to share with you today and as I share this I wish to encourage you and myself on this lonely and arduous journey that there are good, Godly, manly* men out there and ours will find us when the time is right.

So we were having lunch together and the table was wonkey, therefore wobbling whenever you put any pressure on it- easily done. I hadn’t even noticed until one of my colleagues said, ‘This is really annoying innit?’ anyway, without a second thought he leaned down and did whatever it was he did and the table was no longer wobbly.

I felt myself getting very emotional at that point and wondered why, but then I realised this little scenario was what I realised a gentle reminder from God to be patient, not to settle because I’m getting frustrated about my singleness and not to become bitter or closed off because the last frog I kissed did not turn out to be a prince. I hate this analogy of kissing frogs by the way. I always say, God’s way is the best way and I like to see what God says about a particular situation before I do anything, but what did I do? Break my own rules. (In my heart, i eventually admitted that I was actually frustrated with myself for being impatient, when I know better).

man head of householdAnywho0, the simple act of fixing the table without anyone asking him to or being nagged or wondering if it’s his place to do so reminded me of the type of man that I want for myself, that I am praying for. He will take control and be the head of our household and lead us in prayer and fix the broken chairs and change the light bulbs and carry the heavy stuff to the car because WE will need OUR womb after our 2 year honeymoon period is over so he won’t watch me burst my boyo while he’s having a good time with his mates. 1 Cor. 2:28 ‘But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.’

I managed to hold my tears back- I’m good at that by the way-and it just stuck with me all day. God has good plans for us, he says in Jeremiah 29:11 ‘For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ We just have to be patient and trust that all in God’s time, he will come through, but if we are impatient we stand to lose a great deal more. Take for example Saul ( 1Sam 13:8-14), who could not wait on the man of God to offer the sacrifice before their battle and decided to take matters into his own hands and offered the sacrifice himself- foolish man. That single act as we read in verse 14 caused him to lose his crown; a heavy price to pay.

Ladies, don’t be discouraged, keep praying, keep believing. God loves us as his dear princesses and want only the best for us, but we need to be faithful and never doubt or lower standards by taking matters into our own hands- it won’t end well.

And while we’re waiting patiently let’s work on ourselves, build up our relationship with God. We all have things in our life that make us imperfect people, the work doesn’t stop because we’re lonely, or frustrated or tired; we are first women of God in all situations, let’s keep our focus where it should be so when our man comes along we have a few less issues to work on and we’re a much stronger woman ready to put some work in because singleness is one battle. When we are wedded, the other battle starts. while there is much sweetness in it *wink wink, there is much difficulty; It’s a whole different kind of living. But this battle we fight with our husband together, as a unit, pooling all the resources spiritually we were storing up while we were single.

Life is hard, one battle after the other, but as the good old song says, ‘with Christ in the vessel, we can smile at the storm.’

Stay encouraged ladies, we know Jesus is coming, that’s a fact, but our men are also coming…soon. 🙂

Stay encouraged and blessed,

Single & Celibate ladies waiting on my Godly man



*Clarification: when I say manly men, I mean men who recognise their roles as men, embrace it and live it. Also men who are good with their hands or make an effort in terms of fixing tings and carrying stuff what with them being the stronger vessel and all…*sips tea. Call me old fashioned, I don’t care. I am. That’s just me. Like it or lump it.


Digging Deeper

It seems like every time I begin one of this posts, I start off with, “It’s been a while…” So I promise I won’t say it this time 🙂

I’ve been thinking recently about my heritage. I was born and raised in the Commonwealth of Dominica (different in location, people and language to the Dominican Republic), one of the lushest  most beautiful, mountainous, forested Islands in the Caribbean. Therefore my heritage includes the Indigenous  Kalinago people (or Caribs) on my mother’s side and the black Caribbean on my father’s side.

Anyway my sister told me about this novel written by a Dominican author- Marie-Elena John- titled, Unburnable.

I finally read it! Why did I take so long?

The book is about a Dominican born Lillian living in America, who goes back to her native land to face the ‘demons’ of scandal and secrets that have tormented her throughout her life.  Now I must say that I the harshest critic of things concerning me, so this book was read without bias.

This book was literally unputdownable! A word misused by reviewers obviously paid to say nice things about a particular piece of writing. I love the way it was written. I’m a visual person, so if I have difficulty imagining what I’m reading, I may (won’t) not finish the book. But it only took me one day to do so. The heart wrenching stories of these three women, Mathilda-the grandmother, Iris-the mother and Lillian-the daughter were very well interwoven.

I think what I most loved about the book was that I was reading about my own. The descriptions of the Dominican Catholics, reminded me of real people and stories from my grandmother-a staunch catholic (or as she would say ‘poto cyatolik!’) in terms of behaviour etc. When Lillian said, “To be catholic was not so much a religious denomination, it was more like at ethnicity” I understood that. When Lillian explained that Dominica was not the same as the Dominican Republic, I could relate to that!  And when the scene of ‘professional wedding goers’ was described, I  did that! So a lot of the book felt relate-able.

My only criticism is open ended finish of the book. I hate being left hanging unless I can make up the rest easily or I can tell, the second part is coming up.  The ending felt a bit ‘hurried up.’ Such a sad story needed a more suitable end. I’m not saying there had to be a happy ending, but at least some closure for Lillian and the readers like me who immersed ourselves on this emotional roller coaster of a book. I Felt the injustice for the Carib people, was sad when Simon wouldn’t listen to Mathilda, disgusted when John saw Iris at the Wedding for the first time. When John’s mother in law and her sisters took revenge on Iris, I had to take some tome to compose myself before carrying on, etc. So for such a deep story to end the way it did, was a bit of a disservice to the book.

However, it’s still one of the best books I’ve read in a while. My Rating: 4 out of 5

So I’ll be doing some reading into my country My Ancestral line etc and will be posting some of my thoughts and findings as they filter through.

I’ll be reading another book based in Jamaica-The book of the Night Women, by Marlon James. I’ll be reviewing that one as well.